Dragons, Demons and Castles

Sara Pitchford is a Coach and business manager at A Mind 4 Adventure and i2i Development Solutions Ltd. She’s the one that holds it all together. These are her thoughts from a day in August and I am sure they will resonate with many many people.

Ian Pitchford

 

A Moment of Vulnerability from a Coach, business owner, mum and volunteer youth worker

A moment to check in and reflect on life.  A needed recharge of the batteries or just plain selfishly ignorant to the world around.

Yes, a lie in!!

The gloom of a rainy Sunday morning, the repeated tap of the rain on the window was doing nothing to break me from a slumber, the inability to raise my head from the pillow or conform to the usual morning routine.  A head of cotton wool, a blurry view, a longing for a cup of tea.  A bladder kicking me to get up, ok, ok! I’m up.

A delicious delight, breakfast, hot coffee and to steal a moment with my husband.  A moment to share how we think about the moment right now, personally, relationships and business.  Minutes turned to hours and the ‘prime’ delivery driver arriving after midday was no bum kick to get dressed. A void, a free fall of not knowing, darkness, tears.  The annoying prod was now a huge thump completely overwhelming all my senses.  It felt like I couldn’t think anything.  My vision blurred, heart racing, head thumping. 

For now the moment was crucial to deal with the unspoken demon, the shadow of a dragon, the negative self talk which was keeping me stuck.  The Castle walls had grown around me offering a sanctuary for me to withdraw, hide, procrastinate.  Thicker walls developing each day closing down any option of escape and a woeful future of just existing.  Frightened to even dare to peek over the top, to take a moment to look and really look at what was out there.  Hiding away was a safe option, no reason for anyone to see me,  what I was capable of or what I had to offer.  

How useful was this right now?  None, absolutely none whatsoever.  Existing was very real.  A depression, a sit on the sofa moment and not move for hours.  Lists, lists, list and no action.  A perception by others of a grounded individual with an immense knowledge of how to get stuff done.  Yes, perhaps, all of that and more, but right now a crumbling mess.  Which direction to take, any or none.  No idea at all.....  

But exactly what was happening.  How was dwelling on things in life that I had no control over continue to impact on my everyday life, my being.  The impact on intimate relationships and those around me.  A get a grip moment.  A big girl pants moment.  A time to get real moment.  What were these Dragons, Demons and Castles?  Totally unhelpful, that’s what they were.  They don’t exist!  

Does this ring true for you?  Have you had a moment where your on off switch is jammed.

Your mind is constructing the what if’s, will I be good enough and what will they think.  You won’t know until you get up, show up and get on with being the best version of yourself you can be.

The opportunity to talk openly about your Dragons and Demons.  The moment to recognise your own Castle.  What purpose does it serve you?  Protection, from what?  

Your mind is an incredible beast which can invent multiple scenarios which in reality will never ever happen unless you allow it to.  By focusing on these stories, the what if’s, the might be’s, the talk myself out of things only serves one purpose, to keep you locked into doing the same stuff day in day out.  Ground Hog day.  The only way to change this is to do something different, take action.  Make a choice and recognise that wanting something different is the start.  You can’t change yesterday and you have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow.  However, by doing something positive today may just influence that a little better.

Make a commitment to enjoy your day where ever you are in the world today.

By Sara Pitchford